Love: Do We Need It?

Why do we find it so hard to 'Love'? To truly love and maintain that 'Love' for the rest of our lives? We grow up being read love stories by our parents, we watch scenarios of love and romance play out over and over again in films and television programs, we hear about it relentlessly in our favourite love songs, yet practically every single relationship I have ever witnessed has ended. There are exceptions of course, as in, I know of relationships that are still 'working', but even they seem to become weaker and continuously degrade as the years fly by.

Being in Love is the most beautiful sensation, emotion or feeling a Human Being can experience. It is one of the few aspects of being Human that help differentiate between us and the other life forms that inhabit our planet. We are blessed with the gift of 'Love', whether by nature or a divine presence is highly debatable, either way, we are blessed. However, it also seems to be the one thing that causes the most pain, anguish and hate on this planet. Great Men have become psychotic killers and neurotic lunatics because of a Woman and the feelings they harbour for her. Then, on the other hand, Mankind has achieved so much with the thrust of motivation and inspiration love can provide a person. From great art work to historic battles, love seems to be at the centre in one way or another, of every great 'Event' in mankind's history. The love of money, power, Women... Has perhaps been the most prominent denominator in everything relevant in history, to the way we conduct our own, individual lives.

I am specifically talking about the romantic 'Love' we all have grown to love and hate through our lives. So lets stick to that. I guess the first fundamental question to ask is, what is love? Its a question I get asked a lot and people seem to search the answer for the most. Some say its a heaven sent gift, a sign letting you know when you have found your 'other half' or life partner. Others say it is nothing more than a chemical imbalance that occurs in the brain when we come across someone that qualifies as a valid 'mate'. How can one person possibly define an emotion for over 6 billion people though? There cant be one definitive answer! I think love is completely down to perception. We all react differently to different things so its impossible to really elaborate on what love is or what creates the need to love in the first place. What works for one person, will not for another etc etc

We all want to be loved in some way or another. No matter how independent we are or how much we deny that we need someone, the fact of the matter is, being a Human Being automatically implants that 'Love me' quality in us. We all need reassurance, to feel like we are special, to belong, to feel part of someone, to feel wanted and needed, its only natural. Some need it more than others, of course, and go about acquiring it in different ways, but its always there.

As you can tell, this post is not going to give you the answers you seek, for I am but a Human Being too with the same fundamental flaws that prevent me from being truly objective in this subject matter (Lol). Hopefully this incites some debate....

I want your opinions. Why do you think its so important to us? Can we ever stop 'needing' Love? Can we truly be happy without it? What do you think...?

'Black Girls Are 'Least' Attractive': Daily Star Headline Incites Predictable Backlash!

WHAT was the Daily Star thinking when it chose this as a headline? I mean, it makes sense in terms of grabbing immediate attention, but with an already slurred reputation for being seedy and misinformed, you would think the newspaper would take a little more care in handling its Public Image right? WRONG!

The funny thing about it is... The headline is misleading. Those that actually take the initiative to READ the article, instead of just jumping on the Bandwagon of Hate that seems to be riding till the wheels fall off on most social networking sites, will see that the Daily Star is actually fighting against the offensive statement and attempting to disprove the claims made by Satoshi Kanazawa, a controversial Psychologist. 

I would not go so far as to deem the statement made by Satoshi Kanazaw as racist or discriminative... I do actually believe that through some weird and slightly misguided form of research, he has ended up with the results that Black Women are in fact, less attractive than those of the lighter persuasion... I guess socially, you could argue that she is right. I mean lets be honest, White European Women are held in higher esteem by most stereotypical standards, than Black Women. Its not right, but that's how it is and has been for a long time now... Its called social conditioning.

On a Human level OF COURSE Black Women are not less attractive than any other race of Women. If we looked at peoples personal opinions, I would like to think that beauty is NOT determined by the colour of skin, but by an individuals personal preference, judging purely on each individuals physical attributes. Lets just hope that's how it is in 2011... The modern era of interracial relationships and the letting go of racial stereotypes and prejudice... 

Bad Boys: Whats The Appeal?

Bad Boys... Just the title makes me roll my eyes so hard I'm scared they wont return back to their normal position and I'll be left looking like a cross eyed Justin Timberlake... *Sigh*....

I am referring to the stereotypical 'Bad Boys' that many Women tend to run towards like Pigs off a cliff... Ultimately to their own self-destruction. The kind of Man that takes the concept of 'Treat them mean to keep them keen' to a whole new level.  The kind you see walking around with a chip on their shoulders because Daddy didn't stick around long enough to see their testicles drop and say 'Well done Son. You made it'. Or maybe Mummy didn't say 'I love you' enough? Either way, I'm talking about the Men out there that act like the world is SO hard and they have been through SO much, so they have some sort of excuse to act like a moody toddler when they don't get their way in life. Meh... So far I don't see the appeal...

Maybe its the whole 'Rebel' attitude Women are drawn too? Bearing in mind that these Men are not REAL Rebels of course... You know, the kind legends are made of. The type that stood up against oppressive, corrupt, discriminating and racist societies to create better futures for the generations to follow them... No, we are talking about the type of 'Rebel' that refused to go to school every day because he 'dont need english ya get me innit'... Or the type that will not bother getting a job because the Government are going to 'Get to much tax out of me'... So he would rather sit his fat ass at home, getting high and living off everyone else's Tax Contributions... Nice.

Perhaps its the old age attraction to an 'Alpha Male' then? Bearing in mind that these Men are not REAL Alpha Males of course... You know, the type Love songs are made of. The type that take charge when it comes to the well being of those around them. The kind of Men that do everything in their power to make sure the Woman in their life is completely taken care of, emotionally and physically... No, we are talking about the type of 'Alpha Male' that thinks no one else's opinion matters or means anything. The type that thinks getting drunk and punching the nearest person smaller than themselves in the face (Sometimes this 'smaller person' happens to be the girlfriend in the equation)... Somehow reinforces his manhood and makes him feel powerful and in control... Nice.

Maybe its the natural nurturing instinct Woman are blessed with (sometimes cursed with)... That makes them want to 'Save' hopeless Men like the ones I am describing and turn them into some sort of productive Human Being. Who knows... I could go on for DAYS addressing every possible reason so many Women choose (I say 'choose' because it IS a CHOICE..)... To subject themselves to emotional disappointment and sometimes physical harm too.

At the end of the day... Only Women with low self esteem and a lack of self confidence and self worth seem to end up with 'Bad Boys'. That is saying something right? No self respecting, strong minded, confident Woman goes for the type of Men I have described in this post, so don't you think if YOU tend to end up with that kind, something isn't quite right?

If you find yourself in the endless cycle of making bad decision after bad decision when it comes to your choice of Men... Here is what you must do...

1. STAY SINGLE... And then do the following...

2. Become an introspective person. Honestly look at yourself from the inside out, instead of the outside in... Figure out what you truly need from a relationship instead of focusing purely on what you want.

3. Look back at your past boyfriends. Figure out what attracted you to them... If you look deeper than just the physical attraction, you should soon see that you have been only going for what you want instead of what you actually need and deserve. For example, you may settle for someone quickly because you WANT to feel wanted and loved now... When really what you NEED to do is wait until someone deserving comes along that can give you more than just temporary satisfaction.

4. Realise that unless you make a concious effort to stay away from bad influences and situations that surround you with 'Bad Boys'... You will continue to leave yourself venerable to repeating the same mistakes.

5. Do things to boost your self esteem. You must take part in activities that will give you a sense of achievement and progress in life, whether that be pursuing higher education, workings towards that job promotion at work, joining some sort of social club or taking up a new hobby. Whatever it is, make sure its positive and time consuming.

Implementing these 5 steps will help you, over time, build up a strong foundation of self worth and by doing so, will help raise your standards. If you value yourself, then people that don't place on you the same value, will become unattractive to you, and at the risk of sounding arrogant... Even beneath you! You will start giving time and affection to Men that warrant it. To Men that wok hard for your love and continue to make you feel like you have finally... Made the RIGHT choice. You at least owe it to yourself to try.