Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts

15/05/2011

Bad Boys: Whats The Appeal?

Bad Boys... Just the title makes me roll my eyes so hard I'm scared they wont return back to their normal position and I'll be left looking like a cross eyed Justin Timberlake... *Sigh*....

I am referring to the stereotypical 'Bad Boys' that many Women tend to run towards like Pigs off a cliff... Ultimately to their own self-destruction. The kind of Man that takes the concept of 'Treat them mean to keep them keen' to a whole new level.  The kind you see walking around with a chip on their shoulders because Daddy didn't stick around long enough to see their testicles drop and say 'Well done Son. You made it'. Or maybe Mummy didn't say 'I love you' enough? Either way, I'm talking about the Men out there that act like the world is SO hard and they have been through SO much, so they have some sort of excuse to act like a moody toddler when they don't get their way in life. Meh... So far I don't see the appeal...

Maybe its the whole 'Rebel' attitude Women are drawn too? Bearing in mind that these Men are not REAL Rebels of course... You know, the kind legends are made of. The type that stood up against oppressive, corrupt, discriminating and racist societies to create better futures for the generations to follow them... No, we are talking about the type of 'Rebel' that refused to go to school every day because he 'dont need english ya get me innit'... Or the type that will not bother getting a job because the Government are going to 'Get to much tax out of me'... So he would rather sit his fat ass at home, getting high and living off everyone else's Tax Contributions... Nice.

Perhaps its the old age attraction to an 'Alpha Male' then? Bearing in mind that these Men are not REAL Alpha Males of course... You know, the type Love songs are made of. The type that take charge when it comes to the well being of those around them. The kind of Men that do everything in their power to make sure the Woman in their life is completely taken care of, emotionally and physically... No, we are talking about the type of 'Alpha Male' that thinks no one else's opinion matters or means anything. The type that thinks getting drunk and punching the nearest person smaller than themselves in the face (Sometimes this 'smaller person' happens to be the girlfriend in the equation)... Somehow reinforces his manhood and makes him feel powerful and in control... Nice.

Maybe its the natural nurturing instinct Woman are blessed with (sometimes cursed with)... That makes them want to 'Save' hopeless Men like the ones I am describing and turn them into some sort of productive Human Being. Who knows... I could go on for DAYS addressing every possible reason so many Women choose (I say 'choose' because it IS a CHOICE..)... To subject themselves to emotional disappointment and sometimes physical harm too.

At the end of the day... Only Women with low self esteem and a lack of self confidence and self worth seem to end up with 'Bad Boys'. That is saying something right? No self respecting, strong minded, confident Woman goes for the type of Men I have described in this post, so don't you think if YOU tend to end up with that kind, something isn't quite right?

If you find yourself in the endless cycle of making bad decision after bad decision when it comes to your choice of Men... Here is what you must do...

1. STAY SINGLE... And then do the following...

2. Become an introspective person. Honestly look at yourself from the inside out, instead of the outside in... Figure out what you truly need from a relationship instead of focusing purely on what you want.

3. Look back at your past boyfriends. Figure out what attracted you to them... If you look deeper than just the physical attraction, you should soon see that you have been only going for what you want instead of what you actually need and deserve. For example, you may settle for someone quickly because you WANT to feel wanted and loved now... When really what you NEED to do is wait until someone deserving comes along that can give you more than just temporary satisfaction.

4. Realise that unless you make a concious effort to stay away from bad influences and situations that surround you with 'Bad Boys'... You will continue to leave yourself venerable to repeating the same mistakes.

5. Do things to boost your self esteem. You must take part in activities that will give you a sense of achievement and progress in life, whether that be pursuing higher education, workings towards that job promotion at work, joining some sort of social club or taking up a new hobby. Whatever it is, make sure its positive and time consuming.

Implementing these 5 steps will help you, over time, build up a strong foundation of self worth and by doing so, will help raise your standards. If you value yourself, then people that don't place on you the same value, will become unattractive to you, and at the risk of sounding arrogant... Even beneath you! You will start giving time and affection to Men that warrant it. To Men that wok hard for your love and continue to make you feel like you have finally... Made the RIGHT choice. You at least owe it to yourself to try.

10/05/2011

Same Sex Cheating: Is There A Difference?

In the last few weeks I have had quite a few, perhaps to many, conversations regarding cheating. What constitutes 'cheating'? What would be forgiveable and what wouldn't be? Questions like these are pretty common and the answers usually depend on each individuals own ability to cope with different levels of what I would refer to as 'betrayal'. For example, someone may forgive their partner kissing someone else, in fact they may not even think it a big deal, but they would draw the line at full sex, whilst others consider any sort of romantic/sexual interaction with another person, whether physical or mental, as a deal breaker in a relationship.

There does seem to be one particular grey area in the subject of 'Cheating' that perhaps is not discussed enough though... What happens if your partner cheats on you with the same sex? Some, what I would call 'Typical' Men, would be a lot happier knowing their partner has cheated on them with a Woman, over a Man. I think its largely to do with the whole concept of competition. If she cheats with a Woman, at least she didn't cheat because another Man can satisfy her better than you can... She just wants something that you yourself enjoy, a Woman's touch. However, should this effect the way a person deals with being cheated on or diminish the seriousness of infidelity? I'm not too sure...

I personally  believe relationships are healthiest when kept between two people, without any direct interference from people outside the euphoric (sometimes painful), bubble of 'Love'. Emotions are hard to manage regardless of circumstance or how compatible two people are without the added stress and worry that comes with having to share someone. As Human beings, I believe we desire and deserve complete devotion from the ones we love. Not to mention the piece of mind that comes with knowing your sexual health is not put at risk by a sexually, over ambitious partner sleeping with someone else.

All in all, allowing someone to stray, either knowingly or by not setting clear boundaries on what's acceptable and what's not, opens the door to a lot of potential pain and disappointment. I honestly believe those claiming to be happy letting their partner run wild and free around the neighbourhood are worried putting their foot down may put them at risk of loosing the person they cling to so desperately.

You deserve 100% devotion, love, commitment, peace of mind, honesty and loyalty. Never settle for any less...

06/05/2011

The Truth: What Men Want In Bed

Too many of you ‘Lovers’ out there are… Well… To put it bluntly… Useless! Gender doesn't seem to be an exception either! Most of us… Men & Women… Just…. Suck! (No Pun Intended Lol)

Here are some basic tips on what the average Man wants in bed. Ladies, stick to these 5 and you will be covering the basics and jumping into bed with a good foundation of sexual knowledge.

1: Oral Sex - We LOVE it. You gotta be into it too though or dont even bother.  If you look like you have to force yourself, we will get frustrated, and most likely not hide it. Let us see that passion in ur eyes! ;)

2: A Proactive Partner - Be enthusiastic & exciting! No lying there like a sack of potatoes! Move with us, flow with us. Suggest new ideas, positions, ways of doing things etc etc

3: Confidence - Feel secure in your skin… No hiding under the sheets! Exube confidence & we will show u our appreciation for it in more ways than 1… ;)

4: No Acting - Dont fake it! We need to know when you are actually enjoying it so we can learn to please you. Real men dont want needless moaning we havent worked for.

5: Relax - Dont start interrogating us as soon as its over! No ‘Where does this leave us’… If u took the chance of getting into bed with someone without clear expectations before, dont turn detective all of a sudden. He may actually be thinking the same thing as u in a positive way, but being pushy or coming across desperate, will make him run! 

Ladies, put this into practice and watch your love life change for the better. Thank me later.